this whole blog thing

makes me feel really empty.

Here's why:
i keep journals.
and not to .. remember things
but so that one day someone else can read them.
I realize that the things i write are not that important
and i feel like a blog might confuse someone into thinking that i think
i'm important.

which is so far from the truth.
so i'm torn.

i also think that people who MAY read it
will think i'm a whiny baby.
because.. i might possibly be.

The reason i posted a bulletin (it just keeps getting lamer, eh?)
asking if anyone would read this
is because
it hurts my feelings so much
to see my words
be so insignificant

and because i believe already that no one will be reading
i haven't even been trying to write
just.
ramble off about my
day.

The truth is, though,
that i'm not sure those words are really at all how i feel
because once i write them down
they look completely empty.
and feel untrue
and don't portray the intensity
that i feel
every single day
of my life.

I am, always have been, and believe i always will be
a very intensely
emotional
girl.

My feelings
overwhelm
me in every possible way

I get angry, just like anyone else
but the anger i feel is so passionate
i wish someone could understand that
because if they did
they would realize the
significant emotion
behind my sadness
the enormity of
my happiness
and
the problem that is
my indifference

because if i am indifferent
if this girl
who is to be so completely
overwhelmed
and
intense
feels indifferent

where has her intensity gone to?

Today i learned
the exact insignificance of my life.
and yours.
this universe
is far too big
to ever
give
a
damn.